Heart Aches and Blessings in Disguise

Our Big News!

We found out we were expecting baby number 4. We were very excited and as you can tell by the picture above so were the kids! Belle has been asking for another baby for about a year now. We told them the day before we flew out for my Grandpa's funeral. We told the girls they could tell everyone in Idaho.... and well... They did! In most cases they didn't even say hi to you first, it was just "MY MOM HAS A BABY IN HER BELLY AND WE FLEW ON TWO AIRPLANES" haha, silly girls! They have kissed and talked to my belly and have been making plans and coming up with baby names...let's just say their suggestions would sound better for a puppy, unless you agree with their taste in baby names such as "Canella Sparkle" Yeah... they can help us name our dogs one day!

Well a week before our trip to Idaho I started spotting. I did a little research and it didn't seem like to big of a deal plus it came and went. I told myself it it was still like this in Idaho I would go see my awesome doctor (who by the way makes it hard to find any good doctor out here in Iowa) I have offered him and his nurse to come live with us for our time out here, but apparently they would miss their families or something... so selfish right? lol. Well it wasn't bad at all in Idaho so i went about my business and my worst morning sickness ever. I thought maybe it's twins because this morning sickness was taking a toll on me. But hugging a toilet and napping on the bathroom floor and eating pretty much the same thing every day for the entire pregnancy was worth the end result. We got back to Iowa and I started feeling worse. I mean a lot worse.

Well I still hadn't found a doctor out here and we had planned on looking after the weekend since nobody is open during the weekend any way. Well Saturday night I was settling into bed, Patrick got my throw up bowl ready, my box of tissues, and my glass of water and turned on Saturday night live for me. About 10 minutes in I felt a tickle in my throat so I gave a little cough and then I shot up out of bed and ran to the bathroom. my garments were covered in blood. I had passed two clots the size of silver dollars. I didn't know what to think because at this point in my pregnancy I knew that if I miscarried I would have seen a fetus in the toilet. So we called doctor after doctor, then the hospital, and I frantically called one of my best friends that unfortunately knew what a miscarriage looked and felt like. I wasn't in any pain but I was panicking. I thought maybe it was just going to end up being a bed rest pregnancy so I waited until Monday when I could go to an actual doctors office to get an ultra sound (don't judge) So I faked a headache and didn't go to church Sunday. Monday morning came and we called our family doctor to get recommendations for an OBGYN. we called numerous places and nobody would see us. we finally had no choice. we went to the E.R.

Luckily since we have been packing for our big move coming up this Saturday our relief society President was watching our kids for us. We rushed up to the E.R. and didn't really have a pleasant experience with the staff. But I didn't care I just wanted to know what was going on. I was being optimistic in thinking I was going to hear a heart beat and possibly got to see my baby...they wheeled me in to get the ultra sound. she turned the screen and we saw nothing.........................................................................
We were in shock to say the least. She was really sweet about it and told us that because we have had 3 kids that we know what an ultra sound looks like and obviously there is no baby. She left the room to give us some alone time. We cried and cried. We hugged. We consulted each other. We could have been bitter and asked why us, why like this. but we quickly turned to the Lord. We knew the Lord only gives us trials we can handle. We feel like even though we miscarried that we will be able to raise this baby in the next life which makes us so grateful to have been sealed for eternity. This experience in a matter of hours turned into a testimony of the gospel.

We were brought back to our room and were waiting for the doctor to come in and talk to us. He finally came in and told us that not only did we miscarry but we had a molar pregnancy. "I'm sorry, A what?" I had no idea. He went onto explain what it was and for those of you who want to know all about it there is a list of info about it below from babycenter.com. We finally were released. We drove over to pick up our kids. we got home  and we sat the girls down and told them the news. Henry was napping, Sierra didn't understand, but Belle was heart broken. She has been wanting us to have another baby for a while now. We told her that the baby is in heaven and that we will see it again but for now we need to pray for mommy's body to get better so that one day we can have another baby. She wiped her tears and hugged us and said okay. Poor girl, she wanted a baby so bad. She told us "I already told everybody in Idaho that there was a baby in your belly now i need to call them and tell them there is no baby" She is so responsible but we obviously told her we would tell everyone. She said okay and thank you. She is so sweet! Can you blame us for wanting more kids?

Here is a little information about molar pregnancies, if you don't want to read just scroll down to the underlined summing it up part;

What is a molar pregnancy?

A molar pregnancy happens when a fertilized egg develops into a growth called a mole instead of into a normal embryo. You may still have typical pregnancy symptoms in the beginning. But eventually you'll have bleeding and other symptoms that indicate something is wrong.

It can be scary and sad to lose a pregnancy this way. But as long as you get proper treatment, you're unlikely to have any long-term physical consequences.

How common are molar pregnancies?

About 1 in 1,500 pregnancies in the United States is a molar pregnancy. If you're under age 20 or over age 35, or if you've had a previous molar pregnancy, or two or more miscarriages, your chances of having a molar pregnancy are higher.

What causes a molar pregnancy?

A molar pregnancy happens when there are certain problems with the genetic information (the chromosomes) in the fertilized egg at conception. The result is that the egg may develop into a growth with no embryo (this is called a complete mole) or an abnormal embryo (a partial mole).

In normal pregnancies, the fertilized egg contains 23 chromosomes from the father and 23 from the mother. This isn't the case with a molar pregnancy.

In most complete molar pregnancies, the fertilized egg contains two copies of the chromosomes from the father and none from the mother. In this case, there's no embryo, amniotic sac, or any normal placental tissue. Instead, the placenta forms a mass of cysts that looks like a cluster of grapes.

In most partial molar pregnancies, the fertilized egg has the normal set of chromosomes from the mother and two sets from the father, so there are 69 chromosomes instead of the normal 46. (This can happen when chromosomes from the sperm are duplicated or when two sperm fertilize the same egg.)

In a partial molar pregnancy, there's some normal placental tissue among the cluster of abnormal tissue. The embryo does begin to develop, so there may be a fetus or just some fetal tissue or an amniotic sac. But even if a fetus is present, in most cases it's so abnormal that it can't survive.

What's the treatment for a molar pregnancy?

If you're diagnosed with a molar pregnancy, you'll need a D&C (dilation and curettage) or suction curettage to remove the abnormal tissue. This procedure can be done under general or regional anesthesia, or you can be sedated intravenously.

To perform a D&C, the doctor inserts a speculum into the vagina, cleans the cervix and vagina with an antiseptic solution, and dilates the cervix with narrow metal rods. She then passes a hollow plastic tube through the cervix and suctions out the tissue from the uterus. Finally, she uses a spoon-shaped instrument called a curette to gently scrape the rest of the tissue from the walls of the uterus.

Your practitioner will then want to monitor your levels of hCG once a week to make sure they're declining – an indication that no molar tissue remains. Once the levels go down to zero for a few weeks in a row, you'll still have to have them checked every month or two for the next year.

Occasionally, abnormal cells remain after the tissue is removed. This happens in up to 11 percent of women with partial moles and 18 to 29 percent of women with complete moles and it's called persistent gestational trophoblastic neoplasia. These cells are a form of malignant cancer called gestational choriocarcinoma.

This picture was what we thought we were. (11 weeks)

This picture was the reality.

Summing it up for those who didn't want to read about the details:

A molar pregnancy means that I was pregnant for a few weeks then the placenta decided to be selfish and took the cells that were meant to grow baby and grow it's self. So baby was attacked by it's own source of food. That darn placenta, What a jerk right? Well in my case my cells were cancerous....that words hurts. 

So what they had to do is a procedure call a D&C where they put me to sleep and go in and scrape my uterus. They scrape all the yucky stuff out, they actually scrape everything out. I had this done in 2010 after i had Sierra. My placenta was still attached to my uterus and made me bleed and I ended up passing a blood clot the size of my hand. Huge right. Scary also. but this time my D&C was just as smooth but they ended up putting a breathing tube down my throat to help me out. 

I feel really good now that the surgery is over. I haven't thrown up at all and my apatite is completely back! Hopefully my love for Oreo's wont be compromised any more. Now I have to go back in 2 weeks to make sure the cancer cells are gone and if they aren't then I start my rounds of chemo. 

Here are the numbers:

Molar pregnancy happens to 1 in every 1,200 women

Cancer cells spreading in the uterus 1 in every 20,000 molar pregnancies

So let's just say I am in a very rare case of molar pregnancies. 

But it is also extremely unlikely that the cancer cells wont be taken care of during the D&C. And if they aren't then it is almost 100% that the chemo will cure it. So we are in a good statistic. 

The next step for me is to do blood work once a week for 2 months then every two weeks for 4 more months. This is to make sure my HCG levels get back down to zero. (my pregnancy hormone levels)

I will have a check up in two weeks to make sure these cancer cells are gone. If not they will start me on chemo.

We are so grateful for the prayers, meals, babysitting, thoughts, and support. We have the best friends and family in the world. We are very blessed! We are hoping that we will be able to have more kids in the near future. The doctor told us our wait time might be 6 to 12 months before we can try again. So hopefully Our family will continue to grow. We have faith that it will. We are so lucky to have such good kids, who can blame us for wanting more. 

So for now we are being optimistic and feeling so blessed that Heavenly Father would give us this trial because he knew we could handle it. You are all in our prayers and we thank you for all your prayers! 

Love the Baumgartner Family!